In today's Asking Eric column, R. Eric Thomas responds to someone who is anxious about staying with a relative.

"While I don’t mind visiting Paul in the hospital, I get extremely anxious whenever I’m invited to stay as a guest in another person’s home."

I know (my brother-in-law) is going to be disappointed when he learns that we intend to stay at a nearby resort instead.

Paul,” my brother-in-law, will be having major surgery in the next month or so. My husband and I plan to fly out to see him while he’s recovering. While I don’t mind visiting Paul in the hospital, I get extremely anxious whenever I’m invited to stay as a guest in another person’s home.

If the subject of us staying with him should come up, how do I explain myself without seeming heartless? My husband and I think very highly of Paul and don’t want to hurt his feelings. Dear Guest: While Paul welcomes houseguests,